living up to promises.

something i try to avoid on blogs is the topic of friendship. mostly because i believe if you have something to say to someone, it should be kept between you and that person. but there's no easy way to tell someone that they're being a shitty friend.

i'll be honest, i have let some friendships slip away too easily. but i don't really see the point in trying to force someone to be my friend if they've lost interest. it's better to just let it go than to be surrounded by people who don't care, who aren't willing to put forth any effort.

at the same time, i have put more time and heart into some friendships than i have ever gotten in return. i have reached out more times than i count to some people only to have my hand slapped away or, at times, completely ignored. it's draining.

when i've said that i would be there any time, day or night, i lived up to that promise. i've answered phone calls and text messages at three in the morning when i had to be up early for something important. when i've said that i'll be honest, i was. when i've said i wouldn't judge, i didn't.

i kept those promises and more. i'm tired of this vicious cyle. i'm better than just being the "back up" friend.